-what happened to strong, reliable men? trustworthy, loving fathers? hard working and providing. selfless and smart. the definition of father, what is it anyways? any guy with a dick can create a child. but it takes a real man to be a father. ive yet to encounter a real man. a real father.
-damn was i fooled. i thought i was the shit because i can dig a knife into my skin and think nobody would find out. she saw me at my worst, a few months ago, and i didnt even have a fucking clue. im stupid. but above all, embarassed. blood from my hip down to my fucking ankles. i thought God was the only one who knew…
-when i tell myself not to get my hopes up, i do. enjoy your new girl. shes snatching you…you just dont know it. i dont even know what im saying. but youre a good kisser. too bad it wont happen again. sorry for secretly wishing it was someone else when we were hooking up. now that i look back, i shouldnt have. but its okay because now all im focused on is the one that 95% of my writings are on. but youre special for something–my first ever post is about you.
-i cant believe i just told you everything ive been hiding for years. i feel a sense of relief but burden. i actually feel like vommiting. maybe i will later. i feel dirty and disgusting, even though none of it was my fault. i just hope i dont become a product of my environment. i just hope i can rise above them. i will.
-i wish you could find God. He saved my life. I want Him to save yours, too.
-i wish everyone could find God. imagine how great the world would be.
-i miss you. i dont even know if what we have is real. but ive been holding on since december. atleast we can be friends. maybe one day…
-i need to get rid of my hate. maybe someone can come up with a hate cleanse, kind of like a colon cleanse. but it cleans all the hate out of you.
-i secretly dream about encountering with my grandmother. would i do the talking? or would my fists do the talking? hopefully both. whats sicker: beating up an old woman, or ignoring/not believing your daughter when she confides in you that she was raped…THEN letting that same man into your house? i think my “grandmother” wins when it comes to whats sicker. i cant wait to give her a piece of my mind and a taste of my knuckles.
-what will my future hold? hopefully greatness, God help me. i love you. you’re the only one i can say “i love you” to and actually mean it with my whole heart, my whole soul. protect me.
